WTF The Thing That Ate Washington Special

Hallo Readers,

A few weeks ago, WTF speculated on whether Donald Trump’s candidacy was actually an extended and elaborate hoax on the American people. It is clear that it is much, much worse than that. A hoax can be funny but there is nothing remotely amusing about The Donald, except perhaps his hair. Possibly Trump did not expect to get this far and is now deliberately sabotaging his prospects of winning in November. But the more plausible explanation is that he is so pumped up with his own unique blend of hatred, hubris and hot air that he thinks himself invincible. If he ever listened to reason, which is doubtful, he sure as hell ain’t listening now. It is time to worry. Since we last dwelt upon The Donald, he has insulted the Muslim parents of a war hero who died in Iraq, the equivalent of shooting yourself in both feet; incited the gun lobby to assassinate Hillary Clinton in order to prevent her from repealing the Second Amendment, thus putting an end to the inalienable right to shoot people at random; and blamed President Obama for founding ISIS, which most people sort of think is not true. Sane people, that is.

The fundamental thing about Trump is that he speaks out of his fundament and his increasing and obvious lunacy is causing some die-hard Republicans to back away. George H Bush, George W Bush and Jeb Bush have all refused to endorse him. Just think how unpalatable you have to be to offend those three. 50 GOP Foreign Affairs and National Security exports have denounced him as positively dangerous and unfit to have his finger on the nuclear button. The man who advised the idiot former Vice-President Dan  “That’s not how you spell potatoe”  Quayle came out this week and said that he could not support him.  Two former heads of the Environment Protection Society said that Trump has shown a “profound ignorance” of the science and public health issues embodied in US environmental laws, adding Republicans should be “shocked and outraged” at his stance. Who knew? Answer – everybody with an IQ higher than Dan Quayle. But it’s OK – he still has Clint Eastwood. Which is the last time WTF ever watches Hang’ em High.  He has gone too far.

This recent spate of Republican handwringing is all well and good but it is all self-inflicted. It is the man who murders his parents pleading for clemency on the grounds that he is an orphan.  It is the woman who drank two bottles of wine blaming the wall for letting itself be driven into. Republicans – you got yourself into this. You failed to put up a credible alternative candidate. You supported this man. This is not like the movies where Mr Ordinary Joe suddenly turns into The Thing That Ate Washington. Trump was always, demonstrably, rabid, racist and reprehensible.  It is not enough just to sidle backwards into the shadows. Or to to say that you will abstain. Either you ditch him and or you do your damnedest to support Hillary or both. Because this is serious…

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We start our review of the week’s fashion follies with “actress, model, television personality, cellist and beauty queen” Olivia Culpo out and about in LA.

She looks like a collapsed flag.

This is Christina Milian at the Fox Televisions Critics Awards wearing something dire by Lexi Clothing.

There is a preponderance of spilth around the tit department. She seems about to pop out of a liquorice ice-cream cone. But her pedicure is awfully nice.

Next up is reality TV “star” Chloe Goodman wearing something extremely cheap and nasty. 

The good news is that her boobs are not surgically enhanced. The bad news is that they are on display. This degree of exposure would be unacceptable even returning from the hotel pool, let alone venturing out and about coram publico and teamed with a lace sarong.

Here is diva de luxe Mariah Carey popping out for dinner in LA.

Popping out are les mots justes but WTF’s main complaints lie elsewhere. First, the fishnet tights/strappy stilettos combo makes Mariah look like a superannuated Las Vegas showgirl. And second, the said stilettos (Valentino £690 Rockstuds) are so high that she cannot walk unaided and so she has to be held up by two minions like support joists. Which, however you look at it, is ridiculous.

Let us consider the Swedish Olympic team at the Opening Ceremony in Rio wearing H&M.

Boy scouts and girl guides dipped in neon custard. And those knee socks are a It’s Got To Go all on their own.

We now encounter actress and WTF regular Diane Kruger at the AOL party, wearing Valentino.

Baffled. WTF is baffled. And then baffled some more. Diane has nicked her jacket from Jared Leto and appears to be wearing a pair of his baggy old boxers under a black mesh curtain. Truly appalling, made worse by the doubtless enormous price tag.

Finally, we have soapy actress Jacqueline McInnes Wood.

This is just terribly, terribly, terrible, apparently put together from the curtains in a Wild West bordello with a built-in and deeply offensive lead-light tit window. Why would you wear this? And her toes are falling over her sandals. Which WTF hates almost above all things.